Apathy Run A Muck

I read over a draft I wrote for a college admissions essay a few weeks back. I've decided not to use it and decided it's not worth the effort to thoroughly edit, so there are quite a few glaring errors. Deal with it. I posted in on here because it seemed to have a strong message to it, and I certainly didn't want it to go to waste. Being on my computer, it'll probably never be seen again after today. Regardless, enjoy, whether or not you agree.

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I've spent days, even weeks avoiding writing this paper. It's not just any paper, only the most important paper I've ever had to write. This paper decides a lot things. So it's kind of a bid deal. An open-ended prompt is refreshing and yet annoying. Being allowed to write about anything, nothing seems good enough. There aren't any clever thoughts that I've had that would seem genius to readers. There are no amazing stories of heroic bravery or determination, no tales of hardship or terrible grievances that I've endured. Additionally, I idealized this paper so much that I, being a very opinionated person, could never express any strong opinion I have out of fear of being wrong somehow, due to lack of experience and knowledge. Heck, I'm only 18 years old; I haven't been around for very long. Somehow it struck me to write about something that bothers me not just a little, but so much that I've lost friends over it. It's a sweeping mentality that's taking over everywhere without discrimination. The latest craze here in America?
Apathy.

Ever since I was a little boy I've wanted to make a difference. Not just a small difference, a huge difference. Not just in my community or even my country, but the whole world. I've wanted to do great things so that people will know me by name and see me as an example. As I've gotten older, I've grown used to school and used to life in general. Now, I've had my slip-ups. I've had a lot mis-steps in life that have led me in directions that don't turn out too well. Those places weren't really where I wanted to go. But I've always found my way back, and in general, I've stayed on a good path. Coming into my final year of dependency and required schooling, I see more opportunities to do things, to take action, be prolific. It started out fun, following my tree-hugging days in elementary, I began to respect the environment more. I recycle, pick up trash I see laying around, and ridicule others for littering. With age, I've become more interested in politics. I became interested just in time for one of history's biggest and closest presidential races. I suddenly started caring what sorts of things were happening around the world. My interests in science and computers took off. My last science fair project had implications in dramatically lengthening the time available to transport living organs and it even had some relevance to cancer research. I found myself converted to non-proprietary software and now I roll my eyes every time I hear the word Microsoft. All these interests, among others, have led to me joining like-minded organizations: The Sierra Club, Ohio Academy of Science Student Advisory Council, Sex, Etc., a registered Linux user. I've begun actively researching and communicating with my Congressional representatives; developing presentations and plans to educate my school and community on global warming and to get our mayor to join the Mayor Climate Protection Agreement and more.

So now I have way too much I want to do and not near enough time to do it. I've lost some of the activities that were most important to me because they were only good for me and not for others as well. I've noticed opportunities, too many opportunities, to do right wrongs. I've also noticed there are too few people to do them. Becoming conscious of so many wrongs that need righted fooled me. I thought I was simply joining in the fray of everyone else taking action to fix these things and better the world. But I look around me at school and everywhere else and I see so little action; so much complaining, but nothing done about it. A teacher showed me a quote on the very first day of school: “We are more aware of our rights than out duties.” By God isn't that the truth. The next time I hear someone complaining about Senator so-and-so, but they've never bothered to contact that representative, I'm going to punch them. “Well,” I thought, “I'll just set an example. People will see me caring about and acting for something and they can follow my lead.” Oh, no. How naive. Living in a small community and attending a significantly small school, extreme views on just about anything is out of the ordinary. Aside from an unusually large Goth population, everyone in our school is very typical. Expressing my relatively radical beliefs renders me ostracized by many people I once respected. Of course, it's a two-way street. I'm sure a significant amount of the ostracizing was done by me. But I couldn't help it. How could I associate with people that refused to take action for something they believed it, always armed with excuses as to why they don't? Now, it's not like I don't have any friends. I have plenty of average friends, several good friends, and one amazing girlfriend. But still so many people I know refuse to do anything about anything.

I inevitably digress from my real point: the world doesn't care. A 30% vote turnout for non-presidential elections? Seriously? The people who actually make the laws and the people who practically run our state and even our own city just aren't important enough to warrant a few hours of our time once or twice a year? The beauty of democracy is almost non-existent today! If I walked up to someone in a mall and asked, “Do you think the Electoral College is an out-dated system?”, they would stare at me blankly. A few braves ones might ask me what the Electoral College is. This attitude isn't just surrounding politics. A friend of mine complains about the terrible gas mileage his giant V-8 gets, when there's a usable sedan in the backyard that nobody drives. Around here, the bigger your truck is, the bigger of a person you are. That's how we measure in my home town: how few miles does your truck get to a gallon of gas? I'll bet mine gets fewer! We have booming suburban development locally, but it's not cutting down huge forests or old trees, and there's no shortage of green space. We have incredibly beautiful falls, and our air is always fresh. So naturally most people around here assume there's absolutely nothing wrong with the environment. Global warming isn't an issue here, it's just a stupid idea. Recycling isn't necessary. If it doesn't pay off for me, then why bother? The mentality is sickening, but it's prevalent.

It's painful to watch the world around me turn more and more towards a completely apathetic lifestyle. The mentality that “It's not my problem, let someone else deal with it.” is becoming more commonplace. People with positions of power find themselves less supervised, and so they do what they want. After the Industrial Revolution, there was action taken to get children out of factories and improve working conditions. Large companies had to shape up. Do you really think corporations today follow the same improved moral standards that they did for the few weeks in the 1800's when everybody was paying attention? No, because nobody paying attention. They follow the same bottom-line morals as they did when the Revolution began.

I don't want to give the impression that I believe everyone and everything in the world is corrupt and bad. It's by no means that way. There are many great people who are doing wonderful things, dedicating time and resources in vast amounts to better the world. But my concern is with the everyday Joe that you see at work or at school. What does he do? What does he even care? It's the masses that are becoming so apathetic. And unfortunately, it's the masses that have the real power, they just don't realize it. History seems to show that it takes a series of extremely terrible tragedies to get the public riled up about anything. Even a few years after 9/11, the country's as polarized as it has ever been before. The world as a whole is fighting over ridiculous things.

There's no real way to wrap up this sort of topic. There aren't any intelligent quotes to throw out, no glimmers of hope or positive prospectives. It's just reality. And all we can hope is that something, something will get people to change. Not just for a week or a year, but for generations to come, lest we end up right back where we started. We can only hope.
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Of course, I think I wrote that in a spurt of frustration, but whatever. Now I have to get back to composing a usable essay. I'm not usually a procrastinator when it comes to important things, especially something as important as a college essay. However, I've foolishly blown the whole college deal out of proportion. In addition to constantly tricking myself into believing I'm much smarter than I really am, I've also exagerated the importance of going to "the" college. Which honestly places me right among those "fools" I've often referred to who only care about going to fancy ivy-league schools. I just replaced those with top science schools. Once November is here and those essays are done, apps submitted, interviews completed, I can focus on more realistic goals. Goals that are probably better for me anyway.

I'm rambling.
Good-bye.

The Latest

I decided it's simply stupid of me to keep putting off blogging until I come up with something worth reading. Nothing coming out of my mouth (or from my keyboard in this case) is ever worth listening to.

So anyway, I highly recommend a visit to The Loop Show's site, created by the very, uh, unique Luca and Nolan. If you've got only six minutes to spare, and need a good laugh, the enjoy. With four good episodes and more coming, what's to lose?

After former Congressman Mark Foley sent sexual instant messages to 16-year-old male pages, suddenly disappeared to rehab for a month, blaming the whole problem on alcohol (because alcohol changes your sexual orientation from middle-aged women to teenage boys magically), he later reported that HE was victim of a priest's enjoyment decades ago, even releasing the priest's name. Well, what's the priest's excuse? Surprise! Alcohol. Congratulations, the world is actually getting dumber.

1 in every 166 children has Autism. Their only hope is proper education, as a cure is still very far off.

NFL supporters are attempting to make the Monday after the Superbowl a national holiday, right up there with Thanksgiving and Christmas. Election Day won't become a holiday any time soon, but National Hangover Day might be created for the 40 or so million Superbowl viewers.

An enjoyable read: Top 10 Reasons Why Guys Won't Commit on MSN.
Let me just say there's some valid reasoning in there.


I recommend two songs today: Arctic Monkeys - Fake Tales of San Fransisco and I Bet You Look Good On The Dance Floor. Why is every single word always capitalized in song titles?

Finally, I leave with a link that everyone should follow. Even if you only have a few minutes to spare, educate yourself a little: Crisis


In the words of the wise Edward Murrow: Good Night and Good Luck

p.s. everyone should see that movie.

Furthering Knowledge, Furthering Inaccurate Contradictions

I'm spending tonight (or at least a little time right now, until I get too bored to continue) cramming for the SAT tomorrow morning. Being dedicated and motivated, I obtained plenty of study materials before summer even began, and even made a plan on how to approach studying, set goals, etc. Pretty good, right? Well, I had a surprising number of commitments during summer, and studying got pushed to the back of my mind. I had a good run in August, but that came to a screeching halt when school began. We're told to take challenging courses, right? Yeah, so my time's full doing the massive assignments for classes and other obligations, college apps, etc. that I simply have no time to study. So how is this fair? Those expected to do well on these ridiculous tests have the least amount of time to dedicate to them. Now I'm just venting, which I said I wouldn't do...

Regardless, I took a break and continued some reading from Wednesday. Thought I'd link to a good article I found detailing recent events in the study of evolution.

A counter to the argument is found here.
(Edit: upon watching an argument posed on the Colbert Report, an excellent point is made. The above article falsely interprets that evolution has occurred by chance. Natural selection, however, is a process that involves chance only at the level of accidental mutations, which happen countless times in each of us every day. Rather, it is a process of slight advantage having a pronounced effect with the passage of time. No chance there.)

Granted, neither article is very long, but both are provokative.

I found a few other articles I plan to post and comment on, but not now. Now I must return to studying...


If Jake has 3 blue marbles and Joan has 14 green marbles and Becky has 26 yellow marbles, what is the ratio of the sun's mass to the radius of the percentage of malaria-carrying mosquitoes in North Africa as of 1873 in the river-crossed region of...

2 + 2 = 5

I've been having some annoying troubles with my car lately. I love it to death, but as a young gun, I didn't drive it so nicely. That's not suprising, especially if you know me. Well, to make a long story short since I don't feel like recanting the entire saga right now, I got a rebuilt trans, new exahust pipe including a new cat, and a new clutch set-up. All was well for a few weeks, then on my way home from class, something seemed not quite right. It sat in the garage for a week or two until the mechanic could finally have us bring it in, he adjusts the exhaust (which the shifter was hitting) and he things that should have solved the problem.

Well, this whole situation was based entirely on my experience with the car. It popped out of gear a few times, and when I shifted, it seemed to "fall" right out, without much of a push from me. Sometimes, it plain wouldn't go into gear, i.e. sitting in the parking lot once, it refused to stay in first, I had to let go of a the clutch a few times and really push to jam it in there. So we called our reputable mechanic, yadda yadda. Well my dad, the mechanic, his buddy, no one could really feel what I was describing. It made sense to them in a way, and I suggested the alignment on something was off, I suspected the collars. Regardless, they're convined it's probably fixed. So I drive it home, and it feels no different than before I took it in. It still feels like it won't really "lock" into gear. The more I play with it, try putting it in different ways, how I rest my hand on it and how I push on it (mind out of the gutter, people), the more I wonder if I was even feeling anything wrong in the first place!

I'm providing a lot of superfluous information, as I often do. The point is, this got me wondering. The whole "am I just crazy?" scenario reminded me of Orwell's 1984. For those unfarmiliar, Wilson has many unusual thoughts in a very restricted, controlled society set in the "future" in "Britain." Enjoy the "quotes"? I do. With thoughts that go completely against his society, his government, the world he lives and was raised in, he begins to wonder if he's insane. If one person thinks something totally different from every other person, does that make him wrong? Does it make him crazy? He meets a girl, she thinks the same way, he's convinced he's not crazy; he's very much certain that even a single person can maintain his/her sanity while the rest of the world goes bonkers. Throughout the book, this comes back into question and towards the end there are some very intriguing mind games being played, both on Wilson and the reader. With a surprising ending (in my opinion), it of course makes a great read provokes thought from any intelligent reader.

Well? What if you were convinced of something? You were picked up by a UFO, the government planned 9/11, Crab-People have their own society underground and are planning to take over the world by turning everyone metro, or maybe something on your car just doesn't feel right. No one else can tell. Everyone knows you're wrong.

Are you?


We say Good-bye, only to look forward to the next Hello.


p.s. I'll feel really stupid if no one gets the South Park reference.
p.p.s. I feel even stupider now, because I'm really writing this to no one.

First of Many to Come

Following a fiasco at my school almost one year ago, I (along with many others) directed myself away from blogging and any association with it. We decided it might be best to keep our thoughts to ourselves, away from the prying eyes of the over-zealous high school administration. Following a friend's example, I later created a MySpace site. That, then, became the newest rage and suddenly the whole event turned into a giant Cyber High School. Great, and all I want to do is get the hell out of high school. That site didn't last long.

Eventually, I convinced myself to create a new blogging site, considering I'm very vocal about my opinions and what better way to get them out there? Who knows how any strange soul would stumble across my site, as I have no plans to publicly announce its creation? Regardless, this blog will provide an outlet for my many, many thoughts, ideas, and such. I may not have the cynical, sharp sense of humor or my friend Kaleb, nor the wit or charm or vocabulary of... well, Kaleb, but I feel I can provide enough of an entertaining read that some intelligent or at least mildly interested folk will provide a consistent reader base. I'm not trying to go nation-wide published or anything.

Note that this site will NOT be a medium for ranting, venting, or the like, as that's what began the whole catastrophe last year. No, this will be no more than a collection of excerpts from my Mind. Thoughts, if you will. Thoughts that belong to me. Thoughts... of mine. Creative, huh? (sarcasm here)

Anyway, there's really nothing left to mention. Well, the coincidence that today is in fact my 18th birthday. Yay. Happy Birthday to me. :)

All that's left will be hit upon tomorow, or the next day, or a day following that.

The First Farewell.